When most of us picture a kind person, we imagine someone surrounded by friends, always included and loved by everyone. But in reality, some of the kindest people are the loneliest. They may be deeply compassionate, generous with their time, and wise beyond their years, yet they often live life with only a few close friends.

It seems like a contradiction. Why wouldn’t someone who radiates kindness and understanding be the center of attention in any social circle? The truth is, the very qualities that make these people extraordinary are also what set them apart from the rest.

Kind people often possess a depth that clashes with the fast-paced, superficial rhythm of modern social life. They prefer meaningful conversations to casual chatter, and peace to drama. They don’t seek attention and carefully conserve their energy.

If you’ve ever wondered why the warmest and most generous people you know seem to keep their circle small, the following nine behaviors explain it. These patterns aren’t weaknesses. In fact, they reflect a quiet strength and self-awareness from which many of us could learn.

1. They listen deeply instead of speaking loudly.